Tits, Ass and Bush: The New GOP Fundraising Theme

If you need further proof that Republicans fear a loss of support and subsequent losses in fundraising, you need look no further. In an attempt to bolster attendance at fundraisers they've decided to have an open bar - a titty bar.

The National Republican Congressional Committee will be hosting porn star Mary Carey at a $2500 a plate Flag Day dinner which will be attended by President Bush. Carey who says she is a Republican and a possible candidate for Lt. Governor in California hopes to get some face time with the President. The President is probably hoping for a little more than face time, but with Laura sure to be by his side, he will have to settle for cleavage.

According to World Net Daily:

........the buxom Carey, 24, ran for California governor against Arnold Schwarzenegger on a platform that included taxing breast enhancements, making lap dances tax deductible, recruiting porn stars as "ambassadors of good will" and putting Web cams up in every room of the governor's mansion.

"I'm hoping to run as lieutenant governor of California next year," Carey said. "Since Arnold [Schwarzenegger] is a Republican, I thought this dinner would be a great networking opportunity for me."

Added Carey: "I'm especially looking forward to meeting Karl Rove. Smart men like him are so sexy. I know that he's against gay marriage, but I think I can convince him that a little girl-on-girl action now and then isn't so bad!"

You can't make this shit up!

In further attempts to improve the ambiance of their fundraisers, Republicans had announced earlier this week that Jessica Simpson would be getting some face time with Majority Leader, Rep. John Boehner(R-Ohio) at another NRCC fundraiser in Washington. Simpson has ruined their tits and ass party by declining to attend. The fundraiser will now be attended by just asses.

While Simpson's political leanings aren't known, she has earned two thumbs up from this writer for declining to politicize her non-partisan charity, Operation Smile. Reuters reports this from Simpson.

"It just feels wrong," one Simpson insider told Reuters on Wednesday, adding that the actress keeps her political views private. "She would love to meet the president and talk about Operation Smile ... but she can't do it at a fund-raiser for the Republican Party."

Apparently Republicans egos were as deflated as their penises upon hearing the news. Also from Reuters:

NRCC spokesman Carl Forti said he was surprised at Simpson's position.

"It's never been a problem for Bono," he said, referring to the U2 rock star who has met regularly with political leaders of all stripes to promote various causes, including Third World debt relief. "I find it hard to believe she would pass up an opportunity to lobby the president on behalf of Operation Smile."

Well, Carl, just because Bono will whore himself for third world countries doesn't mean Simpson has to and that earns her a free plug for her group. Operation Smile is a non-profit group that provides free plastic surgery to correct facial deformities of disadvantaged children in other countries. The web site can be found here.

No offense intended to Bono. I love his music and think he's wonderful. I admire his ability to stand in the same room with war mongers, hate mongers and thugs while suppressing what must be an all-consuming need to vomit.

If the Republicans have stooped so low that they are having to bag starlets and porn stars to boost attendance at fundraisers then you know they are worried about upcoming elections. On the other hand, if Kate O'Beirne, Kathryn Jean Lopez and Barbara Comstock were the women who usually attended your fundraisers, you'd be hiring some hookers too.

Update: Thanks to Redshift for pointing out that Bono doesn't attend GOP fundraisers to speak out for his causes. He's able to get in front of the President via an invitation to the White House. Maybe Carl Forti should call in some favors to help Ms. Simpson get this same kind of attention for her cause, or maybe Forti's too pissed that he won't be able to use her name for headlines.